England Cricket Team in "Ruthless" Shocker (But Ideal Preparation It Ain't)

Before the start of the 2008-09 football season Spurs went absolutely mental, destroying everyone who ambled into their path. The might of Tavenes and Leyton Orient were amongst those scythed down, but also, more encouragingly, so were Celtic and Roma, with goals scored as if going out of fashion.

As a Spurs fan it’s in my DNA to become ridiculously over-excited prior to the start of a season, and such sterling form naturally sent me into overdrive. ”We’ll storm the top four; we’ll win the Uefa Cup; we’ll win the Six Nations, Wimbledon, the Superbowl; we’ll ruddy well take over the world!” was the gist of the giddily excited expostulations ringing forth from All Action No Plot Towers around August 2008.

Cue no wins and only two points from our first eight games.Moral of the story. Well there are several – everyone laughs at deluded Spurs fans; you can set your watch by the August delusion of Spurs fans; Jermaine Jenas makes me want to rip out my own eyeballs with rusty pliers; and so on. Most pertinently however, was the conclusion that attempting to warm up for crunch games by playing rubbish opponents who meekly lie down and wait to be slaughtered will not stand a team in good stead come the start of the tricky business.

England cricket team take note. We’re playing the Aussies next. A straightforward destruction of a completely disinterested West Indies team was pleasant enough, but preparation for a five-Test series against the world’s best it most certainly ain’t. We could have done with a couple of five-day tests (lower-case “t”) against more challenging teams. Our players will need to be ready to fight and scrap for a draw in this series. Not the best preparation.

"Ruthless”. Blimey

That said, it was at least pleasing to note that the team did the job with minimal fuss. England teams of the very recent past have made heavy weather of taking 20 wickets or capitalising upon advantages. “Ruthless” seems to be the most apt adjective right now, and that’s not one we’ve bandied around too often in recent years.

Strength in Depth in The Batting Order

In terms of team selection, things are starting to take shape. Bopara has done all that can be expected at number three, and it’s good to note that we’ve scored runs by the bucketload despite the absence of any seismic contribution from our most talented batsman.

There has also been a pleasing development of the lower middle order, with Prior, Broad and Swann all chipping in at 6, 7 and 8. If Flintoff were picked as a specialist bowler (there seems to be room for one more, after a sound but unspectacular couple of games from Bresnan), batting at 8 or 9, we’d have a pretty darned intimidating batting line-up.

A Scathing Few Words On The Windies. Grrr.

The Windies may not have wanted to be there, and may have only been drafted in as late replacements, but their performances were abject to the verge of disgraceful. Where on earth was their professional pride? Good grief I would have shaken an enraged fist at the England players as they left the field if they had produced such a capitulation in similar circumstances.

Windies First Test, Day One – Bopara's Eternal Reputation Remains In The Balance

"Bopara has done everything right although I still have an irrational mistrust of him." So noted a mate of mine yesterday, as Bopara went about rebuilding after that most English of summer phenomena, the middle-order collapse.

Irrational judgements seem to be the way with cricketers - I can make up my mind within about three innings whether or not I'll like a player for the rest of his career. Butcher, Thorpe, Strauss, Vaughan - will always like them, no matter what they ever do. Bell, Collingwood, Giles, Anderson - eternal mistrust, no matter how well they play. In a sport which is entertaining without ever inciting the same demonic passion as football (Exhibits A, B and C – Messrs Drogba, Ballack and Terry last night) irrational judgements seem strangely acceptable. Cricket after all is a sport more for earnest discussion and polite applause, than vitriolic abuse and foul-mouthed invective.

Back to Bopara. My mate's mind is made up; the jury at More Action, No Plot Towers is, however, temporarily still out. He's started in the right way, but a hundred against an undercooked, ill-prepared Windies team with the looks of chaps who would rather be sipping Malibu on a beach (wouldn't we all?), on an English ground in English conditions, has a bit too much of Ian Bell about it.

Ah, Ian Bell. The sort of blighter who will make hay with a double-century against Bangladesh, then dine off that for two years, keeping his place in the Ashes squad while struggling to make double figures. Is young Bopara the new Bell, or something far more promising? I'm a tad worried that Bopara might not be up to the challenge of Australia, but will be rendered undroppable on the back of some good innings vs the Windies. Still, he has done all that can be expected of him at number three so far (which isn't very far, being only one day) – more than could be said of poor old Owais Shah last winter. Time shall tell. Hindsight shall be 20-20.